I got grills! and turned ugly…

December 4th, 2006 by sorsi

I killed my dentist. Okay…I didn’t really kill my dentist…but I was her last patient on the night she and her family died.

She was my orthodontist when I was about 11. My grandma had paid her A LOT for my braces (braces were still very expensive back then). I had difficulty stopping thumb-sucking (yeah, liked to suck;P) when I was young, causing my front teeth to be sungki, plus I had what they called ‘bimaxillary protrusion’ (too many teeth for my small mouth).

After a few months with my upper teeth brace already installed, my dentist and her entire family (husband, son, yaya) died in a tragic accident. I was their last patient that night. I remember they were in a hurry to leave because they wanted to go to Landmark. They died that night.

I tell this story of how my dentist died (was murdered according to people) to every new dentist I went to afterwards to scare my dentists from giving me pain. It’s weird that I don’t get sick and the last regular doctor I’ve had was my pediatrician…but when it comes to dental problems, I have soooo many. I’m always on the dentist chair and I’ve even developed a high tolerance for pain. After my original orthodontist died, I went from dentist to dentist trying to continue the treatment. The braces festered on my mouth for over 3 years. Finally, we gave up and just had them taken out.

Now, at 26, I have to get braces again because my lower teeth have started moving and squishing each other. What an awful time to have braces! I’m old and single! How will I catch a boy now that I look like a high school student with these braces! AND I have been recently required to wear eyeglasses. Eyeglasses and braces! The worst combination!   

Read more…

What I get for being nice…

November 30th, 2006 by sorsi

The people in my new condo hate me. No, these are not the residents… since there are only 4 or 5 of us in the entire building…and I haven’t met any one of them. These are the people working on the building.

The carpenters think I’m a bitch because I always give them the irritated look when they get on the elevator with me(not because I’m being a Gretchen Baretto, but because they’re always so sloooow!). The engineer hates me because I yelled at him over the phone for not doing something about the electricity after Milenyo. The building admin thinks I’m a spoiled brat because I keep giving demands (clean my bathroom! fix my lights! install my curtain rods!). The maintenance women hate me because I sweep all the dirt from my unit out to the corridor every night (because I don’t have a dust pan!) and leave my trash bags outside my door (not because I’m tamad but because it’s always dark at the garbage chute area). Even the intercom guy hates me because I screamed at him for disturbing my sleep.

So I’m very grateful that every morning, there is this one guy with a bigote who runs to help me with my bags and hails cabs for me. As in, every morning, when I step out the building, he would run to me, carry my bags, go to the middle of the street, conduct traffic, and hail me a cab.

Since I bought some extra Uraro cookies from my recent business trip to Quezon and Marinduque, I decided to give him one pack as a token of my appreciation. On the day that the building admin handed him the Uraro, I received this text message from the man with bigote:

Gd PM Mam. Mrming Mrming slamat po sa bgay nnyo po skin. Mam sna po  pgpalain kyo ng buong Maykapal. Mam I mis u. Ingat po kyo plagi. I lv u.

Huwaaaattttt!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Creepy!!!

Read More…

To the bosses and potential employers who googled me or happened to stumble upon this blog…

November 15th, 2006 by sorsi

When I first started blogging, I specifically chose Friendster blogs so that only my chosen friends can see my entries.

A few months later, Marc gave me my new site (www.thatgirlwasme.com).

A month later, a boss googled me and found my site. She told another boss…who then googled me and found my site as well.

And just a while ago…I was in a meeting with my boss, the boss of my boss, the boss of the boss of my boss, and the company CEO. I was just sitting there, quietly laughing to myself because the Singaporean consultant kept pronouncing ‘access’ as ASSESS (“we will provide internet assess…”), when another consultant brought up blogging.

Alas, my blogsite was brought up and revealed to the big bosses! What’s more, the Singaporean said potential employers read the blogs of their applicants as well!

So, if you are a boss or a potential employer….

1. I would like to clear that this blog does not reflect, in any way, my professional performance. I am very serious about my work. In fact,the reason I’m blogging is to get consumer insight. I am trying to get into what our target consumers are doing. Well…actually…I started blogging because I was always dateless and had no one to talk to on weekends. And because they said if I blogged well enough, I could turn pro and earn enough to resign and never work again……

2.  I would also like to clear that this does not reflect my total personality. I know that my entries are a bit risque…okay, some are outright vulgar…but this is not the suma total of my personality. I’m really a very nice, conservative young lady.

Read more…

I’m Watching You! (Manang’s new kalokohan)

November 12th, 2006 by sorsi

Manang Linda, my ever reliable cleaning lady, is becoming less and less reliable. She almost broke my flush, for the second time. She squeezes my bras too much when she washes them, making them deformed. She broke my kitchen cabinet. She keeps eating my cupcakes. She keeps throwing away things I need and keeps keeping things I don’t need (she threw away a Meralco electric bill but kept a bus ticket she found on the floor)!

And yet, our arrangement is so convenient that I can’t afford to ditch Manang Linda.

***

I used to have a poster of Batista on my ref door when I was still in my old condo. I had noticed then that everytime I came home after Manang cleaned the house, a fridge magnet would be covering Batista’s face. I thought then that maybe Manang didn’t like how Batista looks.

When I moved in to my new place, the movers threw away my Batista poster, so I just placed a baby picture of mine on the ref. When I got home one night after Manang cleaned up, I found MY face covered with a fridge magnet as well!!

So I set up an experiment…and here is what I found…

Before I left the house, my ref door looked like this:

Read more…

Shiyatap!

November 7th, 2006 by sorsi

I have been recently listening to a lot of call center recordings posted on blogs or sent through emails. Aside from the PLDT “PI” agent, the one that really made me laugh was the girl on the Dumb Pinoy Call Center recording.

Yes, we make fun of these…but don’t a bigger majority of our population actually speak this way? In fact, they should just create a separate dialect or language category altogether for call-center speak…something like “Pinglish”…Pinoy English.

And believe me…Americans can understand Pinoy English very well. Heck, they probably deal with Filipinos practically everyday in the States!

When my dad decided to go to the States, the first question on my mind was, HOW THE HELL IS HE GOING TO SURVIVE THERE?? This is someone who once told me he was going to take me to POK ARTS CHATTER (Folk Arts Theater) and who told me that I was “Kulang sa POKUS” (focus).

And yet, he is now a MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER for this multi-level marketing company he works for. Whenever he brags to me, “Natulala yung mga Amerikano nung narinig mga sinabi ko. Natahimik sila!”…I would wonder if natahimik sila because they were impressed or because they didn’t understand a thing he said??

Read more…

Sorsi’s (unscientifically deduced) theories on men. Chapter 1

October 29th, 2006 by sorsi

My friend recently bought herself some heavily padded bras to look more endowed and pleasing to men. And as you may have read from a previous entry, I am not an advocate of ‘fake’ boobs. I told her, “Why do you have to wear a faker bra when you have a perky butt and nice legs? You should highlight the assets you have instead of faking what you don’t have.” And I explained to her that not all men just want jugs.

Through several years of observation and conversations with drunken men, I concluded that there are Boobmen, Buttmen and Legsmen.

The Boobmen get turned on by big breasteses. The bigger the better. Why do men like boobs, my friend asked. Well, I don’t know. I used to think it was because they were programmed since they were young to like big jugs because all the porn girls have big boobs. But then, why would they have placed busty women on porn in the first place if it didn’t turn out to be a great turn on for men? So I guess men like the novelty of boobs simply because they don’t have them. Unless of course they’re fat and have manboobs…in which case, they can just play with their own manboobs.

The Buttmen like asses and spanking. I didn’t know a lot of guys got turned on by butts until I supervised Johnny Walker Girls on a bar tour (one of my rakets). I noticed that there were more men checking out my girls’ butts than their cleavages (they were wearing spandex)! I even caught some men actually leaning to catch a better view of the girls’ butts. Why do men like butts, my friend asked. Ah, it’s for grabbing during sex, I said.

Read more…

There’s a mumu in my condo unit!

October 24th, 2006 by sorsi

Some people have been asking me why I haven’t been posting anything for a while now. No, I haven’t been kept busy by a special boy…how I wish! For those who don’t know, I have a corporate job that keeps me really, really busy. Lately, we’ve been having planning seminars left and right and reports due here and there.

To add to all that, when I try to get some rest from a hard day’s work, a mumu keeps me from falling asleep!

I’m actually very used to being alone. You can put me in any hotel room and I can sleep by myself. I even stay in the office till 2am ALONE and it doesn’t bother me…even when the guard turns off most of the lights. I don’t usually get scared…because although I believe in ghosts, I believe in them more as spiritual beings who don’t bother us. I’m more scared of earthquakes (my major phobia…i guess because i live in condos) and aliens (my mom said if you wake up with unexplainable bruises on your body, that means aliens kidnapped you in your sleep!).

But ever since I moved into my new unit, I’ve been very uneasy at night. I’ve actually had to sleep with the light on on some nights.

At first, I just kept hearing weird sounds. The LRT and the very busy Taft Ave. is just outside my window so, yes, there are a lot of noises. But these noises are coming from INSIDE my room. And when I try to look for the source, I can’t find it! I’ve had to get up several times just to look around!

Then once, I was flushing the toilet when i heard a “Pssst!”. I ignored it. It came again, much louder, “PSSSST!” then another, even closer and louder…”PSSST!!” I went out the bathroom to investigate…and found nothing.

Read more…

10 Ways To Make Your Boobs Bigger…or so they say…

October 13th, 2006 by sorsi

**Girls and boys, please do not try these at home. If you do try any of them, I am not accountable for the results or lack thereof.

I don’t know if men talk about their penis insecurities or penis envy with each other but we girls are very open to each other about the size of our breasteses=P  Majority, myself included, want to have bigger jugs, of course. Only a few blessed ones are either satisfied or want to have breast reduction. Very few though are actually willing to get implants or injections. And so, we look for other ways to make ourselves more busty. Over the years, I have been advised so many ‘home remedies’ and such by different girls.

Read more…

I HAVE MOVED!=)

October 10th, 2006 by sorsi

Yes, I have moved. I moved from my old condo unit to a new one AND I also moved my blog site (well, I’m in the process of doing so) to www.thatgirlwasme.com =) Yup, my own .com=P I already started writing my new entries there so…see you at my other site=)

I wish I was a little bit taller…I wish I was a baller…

September 22nd, 2006 by sorsi

Person 1: Sino si Sorsi?

Person 2: Yung maliit.

Person 1: Ahhh yun! Kilala ko na yun!

Person I was talking to on the phone: So ano totoong height mo?

Me: 4’8”

Person on phone: HA?!? May tao bang ganon???

Another person: Ano height mo?

Me: 4’8”

Person: Ay, eh di walang nanliligaw sayo?

Me: I’m 4’8”

People: Ows? Talaga? Imposible!

Yes, it’s true. I’m only 4’8”….unless the measuring system in our school is flawed. Every year, our school nurse would record our measurements and I have been 4’8” since 7th grade (actually, one time in high school, she measured it at 4’7”. something but decided to mark it as 4’8” anyway because I was about to cry.).

In school, I have always been one of the first girls in line. The only way I can be seated at the back of the classroom is when we’re seated alphabetically.

When I graduated, I was given an award for the yearbook….for being the smallest girl in the batch! 

One time when I was in high school (our high school uniform is different from the grade school uniform), I was walking along the corridors of the grade 1 classrooms. A grade 1 student (who I didn’t know at all) approached me and said, “High school ka na?” I said, “oo”. She said, “Eh bakit ang liit mo?”

Since I liked joking around in school, I would harass the younger girls by making non-stop hirits. I’ve actually made a few girls cry because I made them kulit too much. A few years later, I had a tap on the back. When I turned around, I looked up at a tall girl looking down on me. She said, “Di mo nako kilala? Ako yung pinaiyak mo dati!”…uh-oh!=P

In college, I had friends who would put my arnis sticks at the very top of the lockers when the bell rings and enjoy the sight of me jumping up and down to reach them.

In the family, my cousins have made me their benchmark. They would measure themselves against me as they grow up. Once they’ve gotten even just a bit taller than me, they will rejoice. “Yey! Mas matangkad nako kay Cathy!”. It has gone on for 13 cousins now…and I bet my nephews will do the same.

During my sister’s wedding, I was seated with my baby cousins (grade schoolers). One of them said, “Why are you not married yet?”, I said, “I don’t even have a boyfriend yet.” “Why don’t you have a boyfriend? Is it because you’re so small? Maybe you should drink Cherifer so that you will grow taller…and then the boys will see you…and then you will have a boyfriend…so that you’ll get married!” (so the problem pala is that boys don’t see me!) These are the same cousins who told me to dress as an Oompa Loompa for Halloween.

Excuse me my dear cousins but I’ve had boyfriends even if I’m this short. Yun nga lang, they looked like pedophiles having me in their arms=P I was always more than a ruler shorter than they were…and when they hug me, my head hits nothing but chest.

On MRT’s, my head is always on the same level as every construction worker’s armpit. In crowded places, my head always gets hit by people’s bags.                                                                                                                           

It’s really not my fault I was born short…my mom was only 4’11” or so. She didn’t let me take those Chinese growth balls for some reason. Growee and Cherifer were unheard of when I was young. I’ve tried jumping on New Year’s Eve, New Year’s Day and Chinese New Year! I’ve tried jumping over people, from high tables and from stairs! Still, I’m 4’8”.

Yes, I have wished to be taller. Sometimes I’d pray, ‘sige na Lord, kahit isang inch lang…please…”                                                                                                                  

But I guess there are advantages to being short too….like…ummm…you get to pass for the kiddie buffet at Las Vegas and pay cheaper, you look younger, people help you around a lot, you’re always in front of production numbers, you always get to be on top of the pyramids, etc.  

I always liked the short basketball players who are good on the court like LA Tenorio or short people who become powerful like Marcos and GMA or great like Jose Rizal=) I know that we, the short people, have a big capacity/potential to be great…because we’ve had to work harder for things since we were young. We’ve had to work harder to reach that cookie jar on top of the cupboard…we’ve had to work harder to catch someone’s attention…we’ve had to work harder not to get our panties wet while walking from the shore to the waiting ’sundo’ boat in Boracay (I always end up being the only one in our group who has to be carried by the porters=P), we’ve had to work harder to grab the last piece of chocolate first … etc.=) And so, we become tougher (even when a number of her cabinet members bailed on her and with impeachment complaints here and there, GMA..undeterred…still remains in power)we learn to fight back in other ways (If Jose Rizal were big and macho, he might have used the sword instead of the pen)we learn to use our ‘disadvantage’ to our advantage (because he is short, LA easily slips through other taller players)…yan ang mga bagong bayani…ang mga pandak! BOW!

 

                                                                                                                                 

Farquad I’m taller than Farquaad!                      

                                                            

Americans Why I can never have an American boyfriend.

                                                                                                                                 

Nick2 Short people being used as patungan…

Nick_2

Jekbroom Short people are sometimes bullied too…

Jekpunch Short people have very little ‘fighting’ chance….

Checo_wedding_4bmp Short people should not stay in the middle of tall friends…

Dance_2 No, I’m not the same age as these Americans in the picture. I was 22 when this picture was taken…these girls (and the fag at the back) were high school and middle school students. (If you’re thinking..what is Sorsi doing at 22 with a bunch of high school girls dancing in a halloween kiddie talent show???…well, let’s just say i was bored in the states…=)