“Hindi ka naman maga-artista!”
Wednesday, June 28th, 2006My Chinese lola (who we call Amah) used to have this white Chinese ointment which she puts in the ref. Every time one of us gets a bump or a burn, she takes out the ointment and applies it on the affected area. That was her miracle cure. When my brother and sister and I lived in our own apartment, my loving Amah gave us a bottle of that miracle cure, which we, of course, used a lot on bumps and burns.
One day, I decided to read what was on the bottle. A bunch of Chinese words too complicated for me to understand. Except that there was one English word in between several ching-chong-chee’s. It said HYDROCORTISONE. That may sound familiar because you’ve heard it in some commercial before. “Hydrocortisone is a mild corticosteroid that is applied to the skin to treat a wide variety of inflammatory skin disorders, such as eczema.” It’s an anti-itch cream basically. Now I feel like an idiot for feeling soothed when I was young every time they applied anti-itch cream on my bumps and burns!=P
And then some more: (in thick Chinese accent)
When any of us crawls under the table:
“Lumabas ka diyan! PUPUTOK ang ulo mo!”
(Of course we never listen, hence the need to apply more anti-itch cream when we end up getting a bad bump. Luckily, none of our heads ever exploded.)
On taking TUMS (antacid)
“Wag kang inom ng inom ng kendi (she calls TUMS kendi) kasi mabubutas ang bituka mo!”
On marriage:
Amah to me: “Ikaw, kelan ka?”
Me: “Nako Amah, matagal pa, wala pa nga akong boyfriend eh.”
Amah: “Nako mabuti kasi pagsisisihan mo yan buong buhay mo!”
(okay lang po, wag lang pong mag old maid!)
When someone was going to pick me up from her house:
Amah: Sino yan?! (Quite angry) May nobyo ka? Wag kang magnonobyo ha! Nako, pagsisisihan mo yan buong buhay mo! Mag-ingat ka sa mga lalake. Baka maloko ka. (No wonder I’m single right?)
On the dentist having to pull out another one of my teeth (for braces):
“Nako, wag kang pabunot nang pabunot ng ngipin ha! Mahirap kumain na hindi sariling ngipin ang gamit mo!” (I don’t intend to use somebody else’s teeth=P)
On the same topic:
“Kung hindi sira wag mo na pabunutin. Wag ka na maarte. Hindi ka naman magaartista eh!”
Still on the topic of braces:
“Pag wala kang ginagawa, itulak mo nalang yung ngipin mo para dumerecho.”
On Americans:
“Alam mo yang mga Merkano, mga i-spoiled yan. Gusto ka lang nila kapag priming binibigyan mo ng pera at gamit. Kapag wala ka nang mabigay, ididivorce ka na!”
On my father:
“Sira ang ulo ng tatay mo!”
On my mother:
“Sira ang ulo ng nanay mo!”
On me:
“Sira kang ulo mo!”
On borrowing clothes:
(This she said loudly during a dinner party)
"Naku, wag ka hiram ng hiram ng damit. Kasi isang beses nanghiram ako tapos nagka-ANGHET ako! Ay, ang hirap alisin!"
Isn’t Amah just the cutest=) She’s super generous (I wouldn’t have finished college without her charity=P ) and loving…and quite quirky=) She’s the best! I just love her=)
